Once upon a time, my head smacked against the pavement and I slid down the road on my face during a longboarding accident. And then I lost my memory. And then…
“I don’t know if I should laugh or cry, so I’m gonna do both at the same time.”
Then I blacked out.
Then I woke up at a relative’s house being patched up, freaking out because I couldn’t remember what day it was, among other things.
Thankfully, PTL, the memory loss only lasted maybe an hour or so. But this whole ordeal really put a dent in my “cool skater teen” image. Even though no one thought I was a cool skater but me.
I was a baby Christian when this happened. It was less than a year after my miraculous encounter with God, after which I was filled with constant gratitude. This gratitude did not fade during this scary event, but actually grew in a sense. I remember genuinely, whole-heartedly thanking God that I was okay and for protecting me from worse damage. This is a mindset I never would’ve had a year prior.
And, I kid you not, one of my gnarly scabs from the crash literally looked like a smiley face.
I see what You did there, God…
I wish I would’ve taken a picture because it was amazing.
Okay but silly story aside, I’ve been thinking. As I’ve been writing and revising my book, and reflecting on my past and my faith journey as a whole, I’ve been reminded of the command to have childlike faith (not childish, for clarity). I had a lot of it during my early Christian days. But it’s a weird thing… often, for many of us at least, as we continue to learn and mature in our faith, it’s easy to lose that innocent, childlike aspect. It’s easy for pride to creep in as we grow and feel more “intellectual.” There are, of course, good things in that and we’re supposed to continually seek God and study the Bible and everything. But at least for me, I want to be mindful and intentionally try to remember that I’m nothing in comparison to God. Like, maybe a piece of dust if I’m lucky. And all the same, He invites me to run fearlessly into His embrace as His child. He actually wants that.
Which will always blow my mind.
Pride in our own intellect is a dangerous thing. I’m literally saying this to myself because I need constant reminders.
Not that I skate anymore because that sounds like a very bad idea, but if that incident were to happen to me today, I’d probably be full of grumbling and complaining, rather than trust and gratitude. My faith is obviously much stronger and more mature than it was 12 years ago, but sometimes I think I need to go back to the basics. Back to having a sense of awe and wonder at all of creation without thinking too hard about everything. Back to that girl who had nothing and was fully dependent on God.
If I’m honest, I think a lot of Christians could benefit from doing that every now and then.